embarrassing thought

I hate writing. But I like writing.

I understand that I don’t write well. But I like to try and make sense all the same.

My question of the day is – is it be possible to be embarrassed online? If I’m suddenly feeling self-conscious about what I have put on the Internet, is there any way someone would be able to ascertain my affective state, without me expressing it explicitly?

I don’t think there is. Which is why many people are of the belief that bloggers, geeks with personal websites and online-daters (I am all three) tend to be narcissistic, self-obsessed over-sharers with enormously inflated egos (again I am all three). But it’s also that, maybe it gives one an opportunity to put some thoughts out there to people unconfined by the limitations of ‘socially acceptable’ conversation.

I like turning life into fiction. It makes all the embarrassing details and painful truths much easier to understand and accept.

I have to write 250 words on the affective state of embarrassment for a university assignment but it’s hard to bring the emotion to mind with declarative memories. Maybe because as a result of creating to block such negative feelings, I’ve effectively blocked out the details of such events. Should I remember unpleasant moments or accept wilful memory loss to protect my ego?

I can do both and neither. It all becomes fiction.